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A Valentine’s Survival Guide for Singles.

A Valentine’s Survival Guide for Singles.

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All the fuss around Valentine’s Day saddens me.

And I hasten to clarify, it is not the holiday itself or being single on V-Day that upsets me. I seriously couldn’t care less about it.

But I feel really sad that so many single people feel lonely on Valentine’s Day—or feel bad about themselves because they aren’t coupled up.

I used to feel that way. And I’m not sure when I moved past that, but in more recent years, I’ve been pleasantly surprised to notice that the whole hoopla of flowers, cards, and chocolates that explodes around us has no effect on me whatsoever.

Let me tell you, it’s great to be immune to the subtle shaming of our societal conditioning that we should be in a romantic relationship. But that’s not to say we can’t celebrate Valentine’s Day, whether we’re single or coupled up.

These days, if I remember on the day that it is the “Feast Day of Love,” I do celebrate. Because love is for all of us, and the greatest love of all is the love we have for ourselves.

And even if we deeply desire to be in a romantic relationship, it’s a wonderful thing to be our own valentine. (The Law of Attraction would even recommend it, to help draw in another to be your future valentine.)

So, this Valentine’s Day, I suggest you do unto yourself what you would have a lover do unto you.

If you were in a relationship, how would you want to mark Valentine’s Day?

With a lovely candlelit meal? Then do that for yourself, or with other single friends. If the idea of hitting a restaurant filled with lovey-dovey couples is all too much for you, then do it at home. And order in, instead of cooking.

With flowers or chocolates? Of course you can buy your own, but do so in a ceremonial way. Consciously acknowledge that you’re doing this as a gesture of love and appreciation for yourself (as opposed to numbing yourself from feelings of loneliness, which is an entirely different experience). And remind yourself of this as you arrange the flowers and enjoy the chocolate.

With a weekend getaway? Treat yourself to a day trip or weekend away. Go it alone, and you never know what future love you might bump into. Or invite a friend to join you, and focus on connecting with each other and having a really good laugh.

Remember, though, that we don’t have to mark the day through treats. We can also do it by celebrating our feelings—even if they are uncomfortable ones.

If you’re feeling lonely in general, don’t try to suppress that. Sit with the feeling, and explore the thought patterns behind them—the judgments and the expectations.

Allow tears to come. They are a purging of our emotions. When we feel things fully, our bodies can release them. Hence, the sometimes surprising experience of feeling better after having had a good cry.

And once you let those out those feelings of being deprived because of the romantic relationship you don’t have, then consider making a list of all the other loving relationships you do have. Spend some time soaking in appreciation for the good people already in your life.

Most of all, remind yourself that you are okay, exactly as you are.

Single may not be our preferred state, but it’s not a death sentence.

And don’t be fooled by all the exchanges of flowers and chocolates going on around you—a lot of that is nothing more than conditioned expressions of what society expects from people in relationships.

Love yourself—today and everyday—as best you can, and hold out for a loving partner who will truly love you back. Remember, true love isn’t marked through flowers on Valentine’s Day. It is marked by the little things, day in and day out.

Because here is the other thing about Valentine’s Day that saddens me: it is a salve to ease the pain of a less-than-fulfilling relationship. A sticky plaster to try and hide festering wounds that aren’t being properly tended to.

In truth, singletons aren’t the only ones to potentially feel lonely on Valentine’s Day. But at least we are a few steps ahead of those for whom the holiday is surfacing the knowledge that the relationship they’re in isn’t right for them. Knowing we need to have difficult and honest conversations and hurt another in order to be true to ourselves….that’s a hard place to be on Valentine’s Day.

And even worse is to find ourselves accepting the flowers and chocolates as a consolation prize for a poor quality relationship that we don’t yet feel ready or able to leave, for whatever reason.

Being single on Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be something to dread. We are in a great place to celebrate our own selves and turn the holiday into something we can enjoy on our own. And I think we should embrace that.

Wishing you a self-blessed holiday.

This Valentine’s Day, Love like a Buddhist.

is a new feature on Elephant Journal—enabling you to instantly share your mindful ideas, photos, art, YouTube videos/Instagram links & writings with our 5 million readers. Try it Now.

Hilda Carroll is a certified meditation teacher who is passionate about making the benefits of the practice accessible to all. With that in mind, she has created a 28 day beginer’s ecourse which is specifically designed for busy people with not much spare time.

An eternal student, Hilda is currently focussing on interior design from the perspective of creating sacred spaces. If you want to turn your home into an everyday sanctuary, why not join her free 30 day decluttering challenge.

Eye Candy: DC Bartender & Fitness Trainer Cornell Murray

Eye Candy: DC Bartender & Fitness Trainer Cornell Murray

Photo Credit: Cornell Murray/Instagram

Cornell Murray is a bartender and fitness trainer in the DC area. He runs Llenroc Aestheticz, the reverse spelling of his name which stands for “the refinery and the defining of oneself.” His philosophy on fitness training could likely be summarized with a recent Facebook post of his saying “We are all powerful beyond measure. The Greatest pleasure in life is doing what others say you can not do. If it wasn’t mean’t to be had then it wouldn’t be at arms reach. I’m a strong believer in the law of attraction like a moth to a light.” A side hustle he started was passing the real estate exam last year. While he hasn’t shown where he’s started utilizing it, that’s still an accomplishment in and of itself. I’ve known people to repeatedly fail the test and plenty others who either never used the license or never sold a thing. PS. he didn’t say how many times it took him to pass.

For those looking to shoot your shot, while he hasn’t come out to say whether he’s in a relationship or not, after doing some digging it appears he might be or at least have someone he has a strong interest in. The other party is Sir Harvey Fitz, a photographer he’s seen out with a lot and footage of the two in bed together’s pretty much a good indicator if I’d say so myself. Then again it might be him and it might not be. I don’t know what THOTs do these days.

Glitzers, check out our latest Eye Candy pick Cornell Murray below, reach out to him on social media and let him know sent you!
| Facebook

Photo & Video CreditL Cornell Murray


Conquer Your Fears And Unlock A Life Of Magnitude

Conquer Your Fears And Unlock A Life Of Magnitude

Trusting in yourself

In order for the law of attraction to work you need to learn how to be open with your feelings. This includes trusting in yourself and it means being open to conquering your fears.

Can you imagine having the faith to jump off a cliff and trusting that your parachute will open for you? This is the type of openness you need to be receptive to.

The lesson to take away from the above example is that you must understand that your feelings are actually sending signals out into the universe. When you take into consideration that the law of attraction is based around asking the universe to grant your wishes and desires, you will see how this makes complete sense.

Like attracts like

Any time you are feeling happy, sad, or angry these feelings are sent out into the universe.

They come back in the exact same manner as you sent them out. So if you were feeling happy then you receive happiness in return. If you were mad then you will just feel more mad and angry.

What you need to know is what type of signal you are consistently sending out.

Do you exhibit mood swings or would you say your moods are pretty even? If you are not sure it can help to keep a mood log. Each day write down how you are feeling – of course you will have to be completely open and honest.

READ  Kissing Among The Stars, a Spiritual Beauty By Steven van der Minne

Try this for five to seven days and then see what type of mood you were in. Were you happy most of the time or frustrated?

Your answer will tell you what signals the universe is receiving from you. You now know that you will have to work on improving your mood signals. This way the law of attraction can start working for you.

A life of magnitude

If you do happen to be moody or negative more than you feel happy, try to figure out the reason why and work on improving this. It can also be helpful to start thinking positive thoughts each day.

This can be done by reciting positive affirmations several times each day. Or start keeping a daily gratitude journal.

As you become more positive you should notice that your life takes a turn for the better. You will feel happier and your friends and family will notice this too.

The power of the law of attraction is already starting to work for you. Now it is time to ask the universe for that one thing you truly desire.

Author: Audrey Cortez


© 2018 all rights reserved

Happiness Guru Marci Shimoff Shares Top Tips on 05/02 by Gab With the Gurus

Happiness Guru Marci Shimoff Shares Top Tips on 05/02 by Gab With the Gurus

My guest tody is Marci Shimoff, author of the international bestsellers, Happy for No Reason and Love for No Reason, and the woman’s face of the biggest self-help book phenomenon in history as co-author of six books in the Chicken Soup for the Woman’s Soul series. Her most recent release is Inkspirations for Women: Color Your World Happy. Marci, who a featured teacher in The Secret and host of the PBS-TV show, Happy for No Reason will tell you how to: Raise current happiness set point and create good Happiness Habits. Activate keys to cultivating happiness in your life right now Learn a 3-step formula for applying the Law of Attraction: Attention, Intention, No Tension Face a challenging time such as the death of a loved one or your divorce. Open your heart fully and experience a profound and lasting love from the inside rather than needing to get it from the outside. Bring more love to your family, friends, community and the world without overgiving or burning out. Feel unconditional love for yourself. Stop beating yourself up, criticizing or condemning yourself. Turn off your body’s stress response and activate the physiology of love to improve your health and well-being. Experience more success and satisfaction at work. Free your mind, open your heart, and be happy in the moment. 6 ways to build your self-esteem. How to nourish your mind, body and spirit. Tell your friends about this exciting show with happiness guru Marci Shimoff.

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8 Habits of Highly Attractive and Intelligent People – Awareness Act

8 Habits of Highly Attractive and Intelligent People – Awareness Act

We all know those people, the ones that appear to have the world at their fingertips. Everything that they touch turns into gold, and they some excel at everything that they do. Looking at the situation, you can’t help but wonder what sets them apart? What makes them so special?

There is an old saying that states, “Big journeys begin with small steps.” While many will shrug this off as nothing more than a cheesy saying, there may be some serious truth behind these small words. The key to success doesn’t lie in major power moves or being ‘born into it.’ Instead, it’s about learning the small little actions that you need to take day after day, small steps that will add up to something great. While some dedicated years to learning all the nuances of what it will take to succeed, there are habits that you can put into place in your life today in order to start moving your life in the right direction.

Source: Jeffrey Feldberg

Here are 8 habits of highly intelligent and successful people:

#1 – Do What You Do

Discover the things in life that you do best, the things that speak to you, make you feel like you are following your passions and chase after them. Following your passions will drive you to keep moving forward without having to rely on the validation of those around you. Trust your instincts, they will guide you in the right direction.

#2 – Always Question Everything

Don’t fall into the trap of blindly believing anything around you. Question everything – Beliefs, rules, traditions, ideas, and plans. If, after investigation, you find your beliefs to be true they will simply be strengthened by your efforts. However, if you find them to be false, you can adjust your path and protect yourself.

#3 – Exercise the Law of Attraction

The Law of Attraction states that we attract whatever we focus on and expect in this life. Do you believe that you are going to succeed and dominate your career of choice? Hold onto that thought, embrace it – doing so will increase your chances of succeeding at whatever it is that you set out to do. Train yourself to focus on positive thoughts and outcomes, rather than attracting negativity into your life.

#4 – Discover the Power of Listening

One of the greatest tools in the path to success, and also one of the most overlooked – Arm yourself with the ability to genuinely listen to others. Learn how to genuinely listen to what is being said, acknowledging and understanding the message behind that which people are telling you. Don’t be one of those people that talks so much that they forget to listen.

#5 – Turn Your Thoughts into Actions

Simply thinking and planning will never lead you to your goals and dreams. If you genuinely want to succeed in this life, you need to eventually take the all too important step of putting these plans into action. This is arguably the most uncomfortable step of the process, but it will be worth it.

#6 – Practice Meditation

Your thoughts have the power to make or break your success, so it is important to use them wisely. Too often we allow our worry, concern, anxiety, and impulsiveness take over, controlling how we act, react and think. This leads to rash, emotional decisions. Instead, successful people use the power of meditation to control their thoughts, making decisions with a clear, rational mind.

#7 – Learn to Shake It Off

Throughout your journey to success, you are going to face some challenges, trials, and difficulties. It is important that you learn how to face these trials without taking things personally. Don’t give others the power to tear you down or destroy you – Instead, stand tall in the face of adversity. You will be stronger when you come out on the other side.

#8 – Be True to Yourself

There are two main ways you can choose to approach life as we know it. On one hand, you can put on a ‘mask’ of perfection, pretending that you are something that you’re not and exhausting yourself trying to keep up the façade, or you can be true to yourself, accepting your flaws and weaknesses. When you allow your true self to be seen you will attract the people who are destined to be by your side in this journey.

The Emotion Code Divas Show

The Emotion Code Divas Show


FACEBOOK LIVE – The Emotion Code Divas Show

Every Wednesday morning 9:30am PT/12:30pm ET join THE EMOTION CODE DIVAS on Facebook LIVE! Go to and join the conversation!

Dana J Smithers and Helena Jehnichen are Certified Emotion Code Practitioners who help people in emotional and physical pain attract more love, better health, more happiness and overall abundance in their life.

Trained in Emotion Code Healing through Dr Bradley Nelson they use non-invasive muscle testing to release negative trapped emotions. They refer to the Emotion Code Chart comprised of 60 negative emotions that are released one at a time from your body.

Helena Jehnichen is also a Clinical Hypnotherapist certified by the International Medical Dental Hypnotherapist Association. By using hypnosis and other complimentary techniques she is able to release unwanted and sometimes hidden feelings of guilt, shame, anxiety and frustration. Hypnosis is great for releasing weight, quitting smoking, building confidence, reducing stress, resolving sleep issues, removing fears and phobias, breaking bad habits and/or any number of other issues. She is also known as ‘The Stop Smoking Lady’. She works in person or via phone, Skype or Zoom with her clients and lives on Vancouver Island British Columbia.

Dana J Smithers is a Certified Law of Attraction Trainer and Business Coach who works with women around the world to gain clarity, get focused and take action to achieve their business and personal goals. She uses the Emotion Code to release their trapped emotions that are holding them back from moving forward to success. She is also a Certified Sacred Gifts Guide and mentors women who are unclear of their purpose and uses the Emotion Code to release any trapped emotions holding them back from living and feeling on purpose. Dana lives in Vancouver British Columbia.